kittykat Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon waiting for boomerangs to make a comeback
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:04 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon used to work for H&R Block, but it was too taxing.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:05 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon discovered last weekend that if you play a Nickelback album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Nickelback.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:06 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon fired her masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:07 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that 99% of the people in this world are complete morons. It's a good job I'm in the other 2%.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:08 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon just had a bunch of underwear stolen. Cops are making a brief inquiry.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:10 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates it when old relatives come up to you at weddings and say, "You'll be next, dear". I'm sure they wouldn't be too impressed if I started saying that to them at funerals.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:11 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon kind of surprised I'm not an action figure by now.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:12 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boyfriend told me that he was seeing someone else because he was fed up with my bad habits. I nearly choked on my toenail.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:13 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon once read a book about anti-gravity. I just couldn't put it down.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:13 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon had some Korean meatballs last night. They were the dog's bollocks.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:16 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon discovered today that when a police officer says, "Ma'am, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?", you should never respond with "Officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:19 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if Jewish doctors get paid for doing circumcisions, or just get to keep the tips.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:20 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a doctor, but I play one in the emergency room until security shows up.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 00:13 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door. I banged on the wall and shouted, "For f***s sake, keep it down!".
←Rate | 07-21-2010 04:07 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves a man in uniform, unless he's in my rearview mirror.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 01:03 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got barred from Bunnings. This arrogant prick in a red apron in the timber aisle just asked me if I wanted decking. Lucky I got the first punch in!
←Rate | 07-22-2010 01:05 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon sending more mixed signals than a dyslexic, third-base coach.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 01:06 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss didn't know I drank, until one day I came to work sober.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 01:30 by kittykat Comments (0)  


   messageicon ran over an old guy's guide dog today. Lucky for me there were no witnesses.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 01:32 by kittykat Comments (0)  



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