kisstoper707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My anxiety has canceled more plans than bad weather.
←Rate | 06-02-2019 07:05 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ME: I miss you KIDNAPPER: Look. I got the ransom money, your family got you back. It's done. Stop calling me.
←Rate | 07-07-2019 08:15 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not every day you're woken up with a blow job from a beautiful woman. And today was no different.
←Rate | 08-27-2019 08:39 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give her flowers. Women love watching a slow death.
←Rate | 09-09-2019 02:45 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really don’t understand why my neighbors have to be outside when I’m outside.
←Rate | 09-11-2019 00:56 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Car washes are just another shower to cry in.
←Rate | 09-27-2019 05:40 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I drink I don't need a designated driver, I need a designated hide my phone person
←Rate | 10-27-2019 14:12 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person who corrected my grammar online, I killed you’re whole family
←Rate | 10-27-2019 15:01 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Jesus is King album by Kanye West is the second worst thing to happen to Jesus.
←Rate | 10-27-2019 15:06 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I said, “I would sell a kidney for it”, what made you think I meant mine? Hold still.
←Rate | 10-29-2019 08:42 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever randomly start thinking about a time you embarrassed yourself 15 years ago and get embarrassed all over again?
←Rate | 11-30-2019 02:52 by kisstoper707 Comments (0)  



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