eengrms Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'eengrms': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 7

   messageicon Just once I wish my iPhone would interfere with the airplane's navigation equipment and we would land in California instead of Detroit....
←Rate | 02-06-2013 08:45 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon All clowns are serial killers. It's a fact.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 11:56 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen a tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding that post to thirty people."
←Rate | 02-09-2013 21:45 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you'll never go back" episode of Mythbusters...
←Rate | 02-09-2013 21:48 by eengrms Comments (1)  


   messageicon How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
←Rate | 02-09-2013 21:53 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to decorate a valentines box and take it to work tomorrow. I'm not going to answer anyone's questions until they give me a valentine...
←Rate | 02-13-2013 18:43 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weatherman are a little too excited to finally be right about predicting this big storm. You're still at 1% accuracy guys. Calm the $&#% down...
←Rate | 02-21-2013 10:43 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it...
←Rate | 02-27-2013 22:00 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone get Seal Team Six some round trip tickets to North Korea?
←Rate | 03-05-2013 21:47 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they still use smoke to singal the pope vote? Don't they have a twitter account now?
←Rate | 03-13-2013 07:36 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear Katy Perry hired Taylor Swift to write her a break-up song. Adele is producing...
←Rate | 03-20-2013 22:36 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here is an Easter time saving tip - don't waste time coloring the eggs. It will make them easier to hide in the snow...
←Rate | 03-25-2013 19:05 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I puked in the backseat of my friend's brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn't any social networking back then, so I'm telling you now...
←Rate | 04-01-2013 15:06 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when you're caught stalking in a tree outside someone's window so you freeze like a squirrel, and they're all like "I can still see you."
←Rate | 04-01-2013 15:09 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roger Ebert just gave his doctors two thumbs down...
←Rate | 04-05-2013 02:07 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to see a shrink to discuss my Shamrock Shake abandonment issues...
←Rate | 04-05-2013 13:40 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think one of the greatest regrets I'm going to have later on in life is that I've never participated in a Harlem Shake video...
←Rate | 04-10-2013 16:46 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lately I've been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
←Rate | 04-22-2013 11:23 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jason Collins is the best ball handler in the NBA...
←Rate | 04-30-2013 02:08 by eengrms Comments (2)  


   messageicon A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday...
←Rate | 05-03-2013 10:14 by eengrms Comments (0)  


«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left