Will Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Happy Thanksgivings...Screw the turkey, I want to stuff my woman...
←Rate | 11-25-2009 17:46 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm dreaming of a 90 degree Christmas
←Rate | 12-12-2010 16:04 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon My son finally found out Santa isn't real, but he claims he heard footsteps on the roof the last couple years on Christmas. This year instead of leaving cookies and sleeping, he's going to sit on the roof with a shotgun.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 06:46 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:09 by will Comments (2)  

   messageicon If you see a fat man who's jolly and cute, wearing a beard and a red velvet suit, if he is chuckling and laughing away, while flying around in a miniature sleigh, with 9 tiny reindeer pulling him along, then you have to face it your eggnog's too strong
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:45 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Got a flannel sweater for the 9th year in a row. Thanks mom! Can't wait to see what I get next year.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 21:57 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was on snookies facebook and poked her. Now I need to get my facebook checked for herpes.
←Rate | 01-01-2011 18:46 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's going to be really funny watching 2012 in 2013.
←Rate | 01-04-2011 06:36 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm pissed. Somebody stole my 330 million dollars!
←Rate | 01-05-2011 06:38 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you have to have a job as host of are you smarter than a fifth grader. Then you just might be a terrible comedian.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 09:32 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so good at sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed
←Rate | 01-05-2011 10:11 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer. Take them all down skip the dam song, drink em all at once with a beer bong.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 00:31 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to Lowe's with a bucket of Legos and asked the manager if we could build something together. She threw me out.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 03:32 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:54 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:57 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 21:48 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 10:36 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you alot and think of you often.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 11:12 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 06:33 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. A friend or money?
←Rate | 01-20-2011 09:43 by Will Comments (0)  


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