Tim Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon microwaving metal objects.
←Rate | 06-07-2009 17:43 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a Sunggie made out of ShamWow material
←Rate | 07-07-2009 01:44 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.
←Rate | 08-09-2009 16:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon so he thinks he can make the desicion to change our healthcare over night, comin from a guy who took three months to decide on the color of his new bed room, and 6 months on a dog....
←Rate | 08-26-2009 11:56 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon not lazy, he's just phsycially conservative.
←Rate | 09-05-2009 00:28 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that they should change the name of Starbucks to Fivebucks
←Rate | 10-01-2009 09:01 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes my lawn was suicidal, then maybe it would cut itself!
←Rate | 10-07-2009 10:34 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you see the new scratch off Lotto tickets at the Quikee mart? The jackpot is a Nobel peace prize!
←Rate | 10-10-2009 01:10 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon liking ones own status is a sign of self esteem. (X likes this)
←Rate | 12-05-2009 09:46 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't believe "meat curtain" is an appropriate reference for a woaman's parts. But he has to admit, an Arby's "Big Montana" bears a striking resembelance.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 09:51 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon stealing mannequin legs -- the make great stocking stuffers.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 11:16 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't think both of the Dr.'s hands belong on my shoulders during the prostate exam.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 12:09 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wouldn't join any club that would accept him as a member.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 20:58 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on my mind? Let's peer inside and listen... "Meow, meow, meow, meow..." Wow! That was akward. 
←Rate | 12-10-2009 08:15 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about an Apple sporting goods store: iBalls
←Rate | 12-10-2009 21:33 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... so the failed bomb was sewn to the inside of his underpants? How does that impact his hope of 72 virgins? Just imagine his expression as they stomped out the fire. :O
←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:28 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon shocked by the attempted plane bombing. After all those emails about lotteries and wealthy strangers who want to transfer hundreds of thousands to my account, he thought we could trust the Nigerians.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:30 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon • Do you know one good thing about Monday? ...I can't think of anything either. OK Monday, here I come.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:33 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fripple - adj. Cold enough to freeze nipples. (etymology: combination of the words frozen and nipple) Ex. It is fripple cold outside,
←Rate | 01-07-2010 09:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't think you should put the pedal to the medal in that Toyota.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 08:23 by Tim Comments (0)  


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