The FRED Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If anyone needs me I'll be setting up a sniper pearch in Punxsutawney, Pa. This year that fat little groundhog will not make it back to the hole.
←Rate | 01-31-2010 23:39 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon **Warning** It turns out Farmville is a virus that will eat your life away. Side effects are all your friends hate you because of your tacky updates & you're getting fatter from sitting online all day playing. Delete it ASAP and stop being a Tool.
←Rate | 02-01-2010 20:04 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baldly going where no man has gone before…
←Rate | 02-01-2010 20:40 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's whiter outside than a Pat Boone concert!
←Rate | 02-05-2010 21:56 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mr. City Plow Guy, I'd like to actually go to work in the morning so for a change can you maybe not make another Giant Ice mound at the end of my Driveway? For an added bonus could you use some salt on my road instead of just flatting out the snow.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 23:58 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have to smile... Pretend everything's okay. Hold back the tears, And just walk away.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 19:50 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 19:51 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 19:55 by The FRED Comments (1)  


   messageicon going bar hoping with Tiger Woods & Ben Roethlisberger.
←Rate | 03-05-2010 19:07 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon might be addicted to eBay considering he just spent 6 hours trying to burn the face of Jesus into his toast.
←Rate | 03-08-2010 20:06 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks cocaine is a good way of telling you that you make too much money.
←Rate | 03-08-2010 20:07 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be sad, don't be blue, frankenstein was ugly too!
←Rate | 03-08-2010 20:10 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opinions are like orgasms. Mine is more important and I don't give a f**k if you have one.
←Rate | 03-08-2010 20:15 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!
←Rate | 03-08-2010 20:21 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon became a fan of not becoming a fan of everything on facebook.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 19:23 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?
←Rate | 03-23-2010 19:51 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that, cuz I'm modest.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 00:53 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow, I'm gonna write a blog post about procrastination.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 10:18 by The FRED Comments (1)  


   messageicon Heaven is Where: the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.
←Rate | 03-28-2010 23:18 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell is Where: the Police are German, the Chefs are British, the Mechanics are French, the Lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.
←Rate | 03-28-2010 23:18 by The FRED Comments (0)  


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