JMartin Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes when I'm bored, I bounce my boobs on the jfdslkhdjkhkjdvvgffdzbsldk;/ffdlskn\/njvglnxlk\cz/\/sl/\sn
←Rate | 09-22-2012 17:23 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when a co-worker offers to make themselves “perfectly clear” but then I can still see them…and hear them.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 17:24 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worried cause I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, ipod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV but it was just my fire alarm. Phew!
←Rate | 09-22-2012 17:24 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dyslexic zombies crave Brians.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 10:36 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once dated a guy named Dave who hated to be called David. Then, I dated a guy named John, who really hated to be called David.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 10:37 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think I'm AWESOME? (a) Yes (b) a (c) b
←Rate | 09-25-2012 10:38 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 10:38 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grammar died so that Facebook could live.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 10:39 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who wants to dress up as a dildo and make Halloween come early this year? I'll be Halloween. :)
←Rate | 09-25-2012 20:38 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the most responsible person I know. Whenever anything goes wrong, I'm responsible.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 20:38 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon People that wear sunglasses inside, have to.......because it's always sunny in Doucheville.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 20:42 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 21:55 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon The mullet is just a helmet for domestic violence.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 13:20 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to raise awareness of Alzheimer's Disease, I will be randomly deleting people from my facebook.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 13:22 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 21:45 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boyfriend says I treat him like a child. So I gave him a sticker for standing up for himself.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 15:21 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon No smartphones for my kids. They need to suffer from years of fleeting, awkward eye contact with strangers like I did.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 15:22 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have ADHD. Yup..... high-definition TV in the years after the birth of Jesus.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 14:55 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get off goddamn Internet, go out & live your life! I'll be here when you get back. :)
←Rate | 09-29-2012 14:56 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I promise to love you for better or until things get worse.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 14:56 by JMartin Comments (0)  


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