JAB Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why buy sex when you can lease it in a relationship. . .
←Rate | 03-02-2014 03:24 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon What sense of getting parrot and not teaching it to say. Hello, it's me Jimmy Hoffa, I was turned into a parrot send help...
←Rate | 03-02-2014 06:15 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey CHOP, try spelling lessons for lent. . .
←Rate | 03-04-2014 17:17 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turtles should be taught to use skate boards when crossing the road. . .
←Rate | 03-05-2014 20:41 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've had an awesome life and I still haven't needed to use algebra. Who was the a-hole who made up a useless subject like this to be tested in on is school, did I mention they were an a-hole. . .
←Rate | 03-05-2014 20:55 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering the hours I keep. I am awake while you sleep. Incase of a national disaster leave me your numbers and I will call you to wake you up so you can evacuate. . .
←Rate | 03-06-2014 00:07 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I replaced hating everything with Justin Beiber. . .
←Rate | 03-06-2014 07:40 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone realize the people running the planet are ruining the planet, or is it just me. . .
←Rate | 03-08-2014 19:47 by JAB Comments (1)  


   messageicon Who remembers when a quarter was worth 12 dollars. I could buy a pack of cigarettes, a can of Pepsi and a bag of chips for a quarter. . .
←Rate | 03-08-2014 20:11 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've been renting space in anyone's head, can I have my deposit back with interest. . .
←Rate | 03-10-2014 09:53 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know who your true friends are when they call you at 3AM just to tell you they love you and that their drunk. . .
←Rate | 03-10-2014 19:57 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trust me on this one. Ever notice when first meeting a woman the first thing she does is size up a mans crotch. . .
←Rate | 03-10-2014 21:01 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick's Day. . .
←Rate | 03-17-2014 12:06 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, you can stop with the expensive bikini wax treatments. I have a roll of duct tape. . .
←Rate | 03-21-2014 05:16 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light and you put your head lights on does it act as breaks and slow you down. . .
←Rate | 03-29-2014 02:09 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to all my peeps and be glad I am not drinking or I would be drunk calling you right now @2:13AM. . .. . .
←Rate | 03-29-2014 02:13 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not need to be reminded it's the 5th of May in a different language. . .
←Rate | 05-05-2014 21:26 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often wonder, people with full body art tattoos. Does their $hit come out rainbow colored. . .
←Rate | 05-29-2014 14:44 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't mind I use duct tape. I'm giving free bikini waxes.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 16:21 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon And in the news today, Justin Bieber has yet to be shot in a drive by. . .
←Rate | 06-09-2014 22:11 by JAB Comments (0)  


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