EF Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Does anyone else feel like a 25yr old trapped in a 40yr+ body???
←Rate | 11-23-2013 20:25 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of you people could use something with a little water bubbling at the bottom....... Just sayin
←Rate | 11-23-2013 20:39 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pinocchio just gave a speech...
←Rate | 11-23-2013 22:43 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I met this woman at the club tonight. Well she looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady! It was when she drove me to her place and parrelled parked on the very first try that l thought hold on a minute here!
←Rate | 11-25-2013 09:26 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I watched the Wizard of Oz last night and all I could think of was "so a house fell on your sister and all you care about are her shoes?".....Women
←Rate | 11-25-2013 11:55 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alarm Clocks.....Making people "Rise and Whine" since its invention
←Rate | 11-25-2013 14:59 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon What happened o the NFL? It used to be the greatest game. Now every receiver that goes out for a pass and is breathed on starts waving his hands for a flag like a big cry baby....this game is falling apart just like this country
←Rate | 11-25-2013 20:54 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are we wasting valuable space on Miley Cyrus....Doesn't her vagina take up enough?
←Rate | 11-25-2013 21:11 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a choice tonight to either watch the Redskins lose on Monday Night Football or clean the toilets in my house. Since I didn't feel like throwing up this evening I'm cleaning house
←Rate | 11-25-2013 22:06 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're getting old when the hot girls you slept with in high school post fat grandma pictures....
←Rate | 11-25-2013 23:24 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I first got married I would hold my wife's hands and gaze into her eyes when I talked to her. After all these years I still hold her hands and gaze into her eyes but it's mostly for self defense purposes
←Rate | 11-26-2013 19:23 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have may stretch pants on.....do you?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 09:44 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon New Jersey is considering a law that makes it illegal to eat while you're driving. When Governor Chris Cristie heard about it he yelled "Shotgun"
←Rate | 11-29-2013 01:37 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanksgiving is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 10:23 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I make my coffee so strong it wakes the neighbors up....
←Rate | 11-30-2013 11:26 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon You kids complain about everthing.....You want to know how bad I had it? I'm so old the "Diaper Man" used to come to our house to take the sh#tty diapers away and bring back "clean ones" that really some other kid had sh it in!
←Rate | 11-30-2013 22:15 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dudes should not ''poke'' other Dudes on Facebook!
←Rate | 12-01-2013 21:50 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women are always complaing that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around.....That's because women take up all the closets
←Rate | 12-02-2013 14:12 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just hid my teenage son's Christmas gifts behind the vacuum, in the dishwasher and next to the trash can that needs to be taken out.....guaranteed he will never find them!
←Rate | 12-02-2013 21:44 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon The "thank you wave" you receive after letting someone merge their car in front of yours is the only thing holding this fragile society together
←Rate | 12-03-2013 06:10 by EF Comments (0)  


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