Crewz Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I was driving down the road this morning and swerved to avoid a banana peel. See mom me playing Mario Kart in my room all day when I was younger paid off.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 20:55 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't believe I was late for work tomorrow
←Rate | 01-15-2018 23:03 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want to take a moment to thank my skeletal system for being so supportive all these years.
←Rate | 02-05-2018 07:46 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin' spoon!"
←Rate | 02-05-2018 10:45 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm pretty apathetic, so I'm getting a tattoo that says "Shrug Life"
←Rate | 02-14-2018 20:53 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon The difference between the company I work for and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the OUTSIDE.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 04:44 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 20:14 by Crewz Comments (1)  

   messageicon Yesterday evening on 60 Minutes was the first time for a lot of men that they didn’t have to verify that they were over the age of 18 before they seen Stormy Daniels.
←Rate | 03-26-2018 07:16 by Crewz Comments (1)  

   messageicon I just scrolled so far back on Facebook's Timeline it logged me back onto MySpace
←Rate | 05-15-2018 06:35 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife just told me that I need to grow up. I was speechless, but it is kinda hard to talk with 45 Gummie Bears in your mouth.
←Rate | 05-16-2018 07:25 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have come to the conclusion, that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all of my missing socks.
←Rate | 07-01-2018 02:27 by Crewz Comments (0)  


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