@svaldez187 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Mariah Carey didn't give the performance that 2016 wanted, but she gave the performance 2016 deserved.
←Rate | 01-01-2017 19:52 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Y’all really spending $300 for hotels rooms on Valentine’s Day to do the same 3 position y’all do at home?
←Rate | 02-05-2019 14:14 by @svaldez187 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Excited to be able to bet on the NFL again. I got money on the coronavirus shutting down the league in week3.
←Rate | 09-13-2020 21:22 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't be the only one who’s first instinct when a fly lands on their computer screen is to try to scare it with the cursor.
←Rate | 09-20-2020 20:55 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What a great Halloween. Thanks for giving us the night off Covid!
←Rate | 11-01-2020 18:39 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all this stress eating, I may hit 270 before either of the candidates.
←Rate | 11-06-2020 12:59 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope Mariah Carey getting some good rest today cause it’s game time at midnight.
←Rate | 11-26-2020 21:21 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Selena: *Trying to Rest In Peace* Her parents: get up you got a gig 🤪🤦🏻🤣
←Rate | 12-06-2020 01:09 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-20-2020 00:42 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before I get drunk, I wanna wish everyone a happy father's day.
←Rate | 12-31-2020 23:50 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon These kids gonna be dumb AF. We never missed these many days of school in our life
←Rate | 02-17-2021 22:17 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $1400.00 per child? Hold up Maury, I just might be the father after all.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 11:25 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your tax refund probably taking long cuz all your kids got different last names and the IRS is confused.
←Rate | 03-19-2021 21:29 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure who needs to hear this but Walmart sells Father's Day cards in packs of five.
←Rate | 05-21-2021 21:11 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some random number just texted me thinking he was texting his manager saying that he was gonna be a few minutes late today. So I just gave him the day off.
←Rate | 05-24-2021 15:21 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bee is willing to end it’s own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness.
←Rate | 06-08-2021 15:00 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook stopped working so some of y’all can get on Indeed.
←Rate | 10-05-2021 12:32 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids, don't knock on my door saying 'trick or treat'. You better say 'chicken or beef' bcuz I'm handing out noodles.
←Rate | 10-31-2021 15:53 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Mike Wazowski scratches the bottom of his head, is he scratching his chin? Or his balls?
←Rate | 11-19-2021 21:42 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Todays Mexican world of the day is DALLAS.....because this is dallas game the Cowboys will play this season.
←Rate | 01-16-2022 22:43 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  



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