@bitemeNsuckit Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon wonders if the neighbors realize just how slow their Internet is...geezus I've been trying to watch 48 hours mystery for the last 2 hours!
←Rate | 05-03-2010 21:40 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves the smell of a home-cooked breakfast...mmmm bacon...now how do I get that smell in my house?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 07:14 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon has been temporarily disconnected from AT&T...and my iPhone...where in the hell am I?!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 08:58 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon May the 4th be with you...but I need a Fifth.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 10:15 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon must be the only one that has no idea wth a bieber is...the news is constantly giving alerts "just in..." Should I be frightened?!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 16:17 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon must be destined to be a nomad... nobody can live with me. i'd rather be a gypsy...then, I could go around making people thinner...or dead.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:42 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two...he'll be back to his usual self.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 22:16 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon been used and has a lot of miles, but is in great condition...she's a classic ;)
←Rate | 05-06-2010 13:42 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon so, this guy is trying to sue me for sexual harassment in the workplace just because I like to flirt a little...good luck with that because I don't even work there!
←Rate | 05-06-2010 20:17 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon found a new place to live...it includes all utilities, free meals, gym, arts & crafts...and my insurance pays for it all...The Nuthouse :o)
←Rate | 05-07-2010 18:22 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anybody can be a mother...and too many have no kids...and aren't women...so I wish you a Happy Mommy's Day!
←Rate | 05-09-2010 08:28 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well that's funny...actions do not speak louder than words when you're beating a mime.
←Rate | 05-13-2010 18:35 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seriously, dude in front of me at the register...digging in your pants for the last 2 minutes for change is making you look kinda creepy...
←Rate | 05-14-2010 11:46 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon 'Me and my shadow' my @ss...whenever I get caught, that b!tch runs!
←Rate | 05-14-2010 14:09 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since switching from PC to MAC, my computer never goes down on me :(
←Rate | 05-14-2010 20:31 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Apple needs a device that emits warning signals that a loser is approaching...call it the iPutz.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 08:48 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since July 2008, three of the four Golden Girls have died. That leaves only one: Betty White -beloved entertainer or calculated killer?
←Rate | 06-03-2010 21:22 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (2)  

   messageicon isn't sure what's worse...the massive amount of oil gushing into the ocean, or the massive amount of BS gushing from BP executives.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:24 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon found a dead lizard on the back porch...apparently, a reptile dysfunction.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 13:13 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  

   messageicon hopes Joran van der Sloot gets the electric chair...then he'll be called 'The Frying Dutchman'
←Rate | 06-15-2010 14:41 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


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