@Jimboleem Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Only 60 shopping days left until black history month!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 14:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is "patience" a virtue? Why can't "hurry the fuck up" be a virtue?
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon My naked girlfriend just fell on the floor as she was climbing into bed. 5 second rule?
←Rate | 12-05-2010 17:45 by @Jimboleem Comments (2)  

   messageicon My parole officer heard I joined Facebook, so he came by and removed my house arrest ankle bracelet.... Because, really, where am I going?
←Rate | 12-05-2010 17:50 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder how many fries are eaten every year between the drive thru window and the parking lot exit.
←Rate | 12-05-2010 21:12 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend and I went to stay with her parents at the weekend, but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together. ... Which is a shame, because I fancy him.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:09 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon In this kind of weather I like to get a space heater, a good book, a pot of coffee, and curl up on the toilet.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:09 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon My sex drive isn't too bad..... There's a hooker just three blocks from here.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:15 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not saying it's bad for a girl's pubes to be showing.... I'm saying it matters which end of her shorts they're showing from.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:32 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon When the cable goes out, I like to sit down and do some writing. ...Usually a check to the cable company.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:52 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Son, when I was your age, our video game were Big dots eating little dots while being chase by others dots who ran when my dot ate a special dot....
←Rate | 12-07-2010 17:34 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Son, when I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 18:32 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're not drinking falcon blood out of a boar's skull, .....we don't want to see your tribal tattoo.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 19:20 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon At my house, it is customary for you to go back to yours as soon as possible.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 22:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon The hot nurse wants to take a blood sample. If I can get some back into my veins, I'll oblige her.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 10:57 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon The hot neighbor chick snores. ...... When she's being watched....... From her closet. ..... Apparently!
←Rate | 12-08-2010 17:31 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't believe they've imprisoned Wesley Snipes without first cryogenically preserving Sylvester Stallone
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:31 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the news: Police squad helps dog bite victim. ........... You'd think they would be trying to stop it.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:58 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm looking foreword to being the drunken version of wikiLeaks at our office holiday party this year!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:47 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


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