@1_Jack_Jacko Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I saw my ex earlier and realized how much I missed her. Had to go back round the roundabout and run her over on the second attempt.
←Rate | 02-24-2014 14:29 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon A MILF is a sexy ass mum over 35. If you're 18, you're just an idiot with a baby.
←Rate | 02-24-2014 15:21 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment
←Rate | 02-26-2014 17:30 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday
←Rate | 02-27-2014 14:23 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's Monday. I'm refreshed and ready to hate my Job
←Rate | 03-02-2014 16:22 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice
←Rate | 03-10-2014 18:56 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girl has been asleep for 14 hours now. I'm debating trying to wake her in case she's dead. But then again if I do wake her up I'll then be dead..
←Rate | 03-11-2014 16:00 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want a woman who can cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills & still set aside the time to have sex with me while her husbands at work.
←Rate | 03-11-2014 18:29 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do all you women brag about multi-tasking. You need to chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once
←Rate | 03-26-2014 18:56 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep. Friday night here I come
←Rate | 03-28-2014 15:24 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when I tell someone I'm bored, and they suggest getting together. Then I have to explain that I'm not quite that bored.
←Rate | 04-01-2014 18:26 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon So many baby mothers post up pictures of their kids everyday.. I'm watching them grow.. I'm technically their step dad
←Rate | 04-06-2014 09:35 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon This post is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
←Rate | 04-14-2014 16:08 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon important status announcement - bacon sandwiches
←Rate | 04-18-2014 18:32 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's amazing how the brain works. I heard a song that I haven't heard in about ten years and I remembered it word for word. Yet when it came to my exams I barely even remembered how to hold my pen.
←Rate | 04-19-2014 13:09 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm drunk and I've got work tomorrow, but on the plus side. I'm having a great conversation with my dog
←Rate | 04-24-2014 15:37 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently it's Monday today and it's sunny outside. Thanks everyone for that invaluable piece of information
←Rate | 05-19-2014 13:15 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their mind
←Rate | 06-25-2014 16:05 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don't know yet though she's still in bed
←Rate | 08-20-2014 15:56 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Send me one more game request and I'm showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister
←Rate | 09-17-2014 14:43 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  


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