sully Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh...F*ck it, I'll buy my own sh#t.......
←Rate | 11-30-2011 09:24 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to think that all those hours in school when I practiced writing my autograph was just a waste of time.....
←Rate | 11-13-2012 07:02 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna go old school and drop my status updates in an envelope and start mailing them to all my friends daily to help bail out the Post Office...
←Rate | 09-06-2011 08:34 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon The media is a weapon of mass destruction....
←Rate | 09-03-2013 15:49 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who says men aren't capable of multiple orgasms has never watched a weatherman reporting on an approaching hurricane.........
←Rate | 08-26-2011 09:05 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon If time is money.... Facebook owes me like...27 billion dollars...
←Rate | 04-14-2015 19:14 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lost a couple FB friends overnight. Hopefully they just died and it wasn't something I said...
←Rate | 08-23-2012 10:56 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
←Rate | 11-17-2014 21:35 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Global Bacon shortage better be the first debate question tonight, and I WANT ANSWERS! No lies....
←Rate | 10-03-2012 18:24 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boring Apocalypse thus far. Seems like Ryan Seacrest should be hosting a "2012 A-Rock-Alypse Eve" show from Times Square or something.....
←Rate | 12-20-2012 18:32 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want you all to know, if I win the Powerball tonight.... I'm still going to show up to Facebook tomorrow.
←Rate | 05-15-2013 18:11 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of MLK: I'm going to wash my whites and colors together today.....
←Rate | 01-20-2014 11:44 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drunk driving, sniffing cocaine, smoking crack, eating p ussy, drinking on the job, rendezvous with prostitutes...All in a days work for Toronto's mayor!!
←Rate | 11-14-2013 21:17 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
←Rate | 10-27-2012 12:46 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon CNN Breaking news: Due to Government Shutdown, all the aliens in Area 51 have been released......
←Rate | 10-01-2013 10:25 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-6. I'm thankful for boobs
←Rate | 11-06-2013 07:57 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey NFL,solution to your recent problem,start allowing players to hit each other on the field again......
←Rate | 09-18-2014 14:53 by Sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
←Rate | 09-06-2012 16:40 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quick question.... Who gets all of Gadhafi's cool sunglasses when they catch him?
←Rate | 08-22-2011 13:08 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm guessing if we see pink smoke, that will mean the justices has reached a decision?
←Rate | 03-27-2013 15:00 by sully Comments (0)  



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