SlowMotionNinja Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
←Rate | 04-01-2013 22:59 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you mix Taco Bell sauce into your ramen, It tastes exactly like poverty
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:28 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a disco last night. They played the twist, I did the twist, They played jump, I jumped. They played "come on Eileen"...I got kicked out for that one.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 20:40 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girl all have in common? In each scenario there is a DUMBASS who did not take it out in time
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:12 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....
←Rate | 03-08-2013 09:41 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two kit-kats fall out of a vending machine at once
←Rate | 06-25-2011 22:31 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a question for all government officials and anyone who supports SOPA/PIPA. Do you really want to piss off ALL those hackers all at once?
←Rate | 01-20-2012 10:48 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin and Snookie both Having NY Times bestsellers makes me realize being literate is overrated
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:56 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have decided I am going to write erotica for the elderly. Excerpts from Chapter 1: "He wondered why she took off her Dentures. Later he could not thank her enough."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:10 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Random Dude: "Sup bro you think you could piss in this cup in that bathroom for me I gotta pass this drug test. I'll pay you $60" Me: "...ya..." That dudes screwed
←Rate | 02-28-2011 23:36 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse
←Rate | 03-04-2011 22:20 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I almost choked to death while trying to rap in the car on the way to work. Chewing gum and Wu-Tang clan ain't nothin' to f**k with.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 23:43 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math questions are so dumb! They're like "if you have 30 chocolate bars and you eat 29, what do you have left?" OH I don't know how bout diabetes!!
←Rate | 08-17-2011 11:18 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever you feel powerless, remember that just one single turd of yours can shut down an entire waterpark
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:27 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Why is it that if a girl has sex with more than one guy she's a slut but if a guy has sex with more than one girl he's a legend?" The guy replies "If a lock can be opened by more than one key it's useless but if a key can open many locks its a master key
←Rate | 03-18-2011 21:51 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1st: Chris Brown hits her 2nd: Eminem lies to her and 3rd: Drake cant remember her name. What a life Rihanna has
←Rate | 02-16-2011 21:25 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am pretty sure that J.Lo plus butter equals Snookie
←Rate | 11-29-2010 17:34 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just inadvertently murdered two snails in front of what I can only assume was their son. As a result, I may have just created the snail equivalent of the batman.
←Rate | 09-06-2012 08:56 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Iphone has just patented anti sexting software..brett favre your going to want to get a DROID
←Rate | 10-13-2010 23:34 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian Says She Would Like To Have Sex With Herself …To Know What It Feels Like! Guess that means that after Kanye West Noone wants to touch her.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 11:13 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  



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