@UncleBSolomon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon How I love #Monday. On a different subject. Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?
←Rate | 11-14-2016 13:17 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A person without a sense of humor is like a car without shocks, they get jolted by every rock or pebble in the road.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 13:18 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd publish my autobiography but it's just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 18:56 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A wife is like a box of chocolates, you never know which of her multiple moods you're going to get, you just better act like you love it.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 19:09 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a bumper sticker saying, "My Lab is smarter than your Honor Student" I may not be worldly, but I have never seen an Honor Student jump from an open car window and chase a squirrel through a busy intersection.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 21:36 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd give five bucks to hear First lady Melania say, "Moose and Squirrel".
←Rate | 11-14-2016 21:41 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bi-polar Wednesday - that day where you teeter between, "Woo Hoo, the week is half over" and *tear*, "the week is only half over.
←Rate | 11-16-2016 09:00 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched Bugs, Popeye, and the Roadrunner every day when growing up. This nation is the beacon for the world. Kids today watch cartoons with 0 violence and need safe zone. I fear the future.
←Rate | 11-16-2016 09:10 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon #marriage Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again.
←Rate | 11-17-2016 11:35 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon 12 years of school, 4 years of college; so now I can type "c you @ 2" #reallife
←Rate | 11-17-2016 11:37 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon New study finds that everyone you disagree with is are stupid.
←Rate | 11-18-2016 10:28 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being know as a instigator, I'm gonna add "Being thankful we survived Obama' to the thanksgiving blessing just to get the fun going.
←Rate | 11-20-2016 18:44 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor finally put up his #Christmas lights today. I bet he's mad that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-21-2016 10:19 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the #bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.
←Rate | 11-21-2016 22:13 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the Dr. office today. Either someone is wearing cotton candy scented lotion or a #unicorn peed in this corner.
←Rate | 11-22-2016 09:19 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon For all you #single people: Time to start thawing the #Thanksgiving hot dogs
←Rate | 11-23-2016 20:52 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saved $983.54 on Black Friday. I stayed home watched TV and didn't shop.
←Rate | 11-25-2016 17:25 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
←Rate | 11-26-2016 09:30 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to live an #adventurous life but its hard to do it with $17 disposable #income a week.
←Rate | 11-26-2016 23:57 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing puts me into the #Christmas spirit like #shopping. On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer, On VISA.
←Rate | 11-28-2016 21:56 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


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