Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I can’t afford one of those copper bracelets for pain so I just swallow a few pennies a day
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon got thrown out of a casino last night... apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table!
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dont want to say the economy is getting bad under Joe, but I drove by the former Chucky Cheese which is now called "chucky government cheese"
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The problem isn’t government assistance for people who need it. The problem is government assistance for people just because they can get it.
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had two naps today but every time I wake up I'm still at work.
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was going to tell you a joke about covid 19 but 99% of you won’t get it......
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fell down on the treadmill just now, got ice cream everywhere.
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol."
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
←Rate | 09-26-2021 19:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cruises: Like being on house arrest with midnight buffets.
←Rate | 09-26-2021 16:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wondering why I have a belly button, but not being able to imagine life without one
←Rate | 09-25-2021 23:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. Others drink Beer so the world circles around them.
←Rate | 09-25-2021 22:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Take note... the people who unabashedly support Drumpf can't spell, can't form a coherent sentence and have no idea how to interpret facts and statistics.
←Rate | 09-25-2021 11:41 by Tacit-Coda Comments (0)  

   messageicon Think I'll get a third shot. And no I'm not in a bar.
←Rate | 09-25-2021 10:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now that summer's over, I'd like to suggest to the ladies (and guys from Canada) that next year, unless you have a rear end made of perfectly sculpted stone, don't wear a thong.
←Rate | 09-24-2021 11:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon COVID is going to be an excuse for horrible restaurant service for years to come.
←Rate | 09-24-2021 09:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said “I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle”
←Rate | 09-23-2021 14:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Where the hell are all the moths coming from?" -- Thomas Edison 1879
←Rate | 09-23-2021 14:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon OK. What genius decided to call it the "Jab" and not the "Hokey Pokey"?
←Rate | 09-22-2021 21:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the third time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party! Besides, my dog is receiving his First Communion that day.
←Rate | 09-22-2021 12:35 Comments (0)  

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