Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:
Page: 6 of 5544

   messageicon Remember when we treated the flu with chicken soup, saltines and tea instead of commmunism?
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We lost our culture around the time we stopped smoking Marlboro Reds and started vaping strawberry cheesecake.
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon These mask mandates just made ventriloquism a lot easier.
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Getting shot is my 2nd amendment right.
←Rate | 09-30-2021 13:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The closest I've ever come to eating better is eating butter.
←Rate | 09-30-2021 11:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think when you get your photo taken for your driver’s license they should squirt you in the face with a water gun. Then your picture will have that annoyed and upset look to match when the cop pulls you over
←Rate | 09-30-2021 11:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I go to Baskin-Robbins their hamburger machine is broken.
←Rate | 09-30-2021 11:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
←Rate | 09-30-2021 11:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves...?
←Rate | 09-30-2021 10:23 by MM Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somebody please take Grandpa Biden's keys away before he drives us into a ditch. Oops, too late.
←Rate | 09-29-2021 22:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What were electric eels called before the discovery of electricity?
←Rate | 09-29-2021 20:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Quentinen and Tarantined by Writtin Directino
←Rate | 09-29-2021 02:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mexican word of the day: Pizza Sheet. Joe Biden is a pizza sheet.
←Rate | 09-29-2021 02:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Had my physical today. After the doctor left another doctor came in & said the three words no man wants to hear: “Who was that?”
←Rate | 09-28-2021 15:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me to husband: To be clear, when I say “let’s get it on”, I’m talking about the two-person horse costume we got for Halloween.
←Rate | 09-28-2021 11:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll never understand why people admires behavior in a grown man that they would hate to see in a toddler.
←Rate | 09-28-2021 09:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cruises: Floating Golden Corrals with drunk people.
←Rate | 09-28-2021 03:16 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it that the people who are the loudest about demanding respect are the ones who have done the least to earn it?
←Rate | 09-27-2021 20:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A guy walks into a bear and orders a drink. He didn’t notice my typo. Anyway, he’s dead now.
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon efore kids I only had to take the trash out once a week, now I forget it once and A&E is kicking in my door trying to film an episode of Hoarders
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:14 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left