Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Normally, having a pillow fight used to be fun, until "Memory Foam" made an appearance, now it's a class C Felony

   You’re all dying anyway so why not just go buy some KFC. (Those guys need to let me do their ads).

   Life just handed me Lemon Pledge, I guess it wants me to dust.

   If what I just did in that Koreatown restaurant bathroom gets back to Kim Jong-un,, we're all doomed

   I hate how my child always moan about how much I drink. I'm tired of having to remind him that if it weren't for the alcohol, he wouldn't even exist.

   I always keep a gun in my glove box. Not for safety. For making people exit a moving vehicle when they b!tch about me listening to Bob Dylan

   There is a whole market of fools out there who are willing to buy any product no matter how outrageous and absurd it may be to the average thinking man.

   Well YES,,,, Actually, I've been published in Several bathrooms throughout the Northeast...

   Damn! Freddie Mercury has never looked better!!

   I thought the term "chillaxin" meant chilling at home with laxatives. Looks like it's going to be a long night.

   my mother always told me , believe none of what yah hear, and only half of what yah see

   thanks dad, for filling my inbox up with fwd e-mails...

   The East Nile virus is apparently not as deadly or notorious?

   Oh ! The first page popped up when I typed "childbirth " on Google was "durex"!!!

   Everyone is at an uproar over published materials.... " Royal Kate over Closer magazine" , "radicals over a cheesy film", "Me over a stupid how to make money infomercial!"

   So did anybody catch X-factor? That BIG BIRD looking chick was singing , more like squacking! guess her future on the line too.

   There's plenty of fish in the sea. Build an aquarium...

   10-11-12..........Happy I can count past 9 day.....:-)

   Hurrican Sandy is mother natures revenge for Jersey Shore.

   ‎"Fungry" The State Of Being Hungry.!