Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   has made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   My girl told me I should embrace more of the holiday season. So I glued a mistletoe to my back pocket!!

   First the dead birs in Arkansas, now the 2 million dead fish in Maryland. Are we in a Michael Bay disaster movie?

   These liberty tax male lady liberty people on the side of the road make me happy I'm not them.

   going ice fishing in my neighbor's fish tank. Yep, its that cold.

   They told me to think outside the box....I just learned this did not mean I could leave the box.

   looks like arnold schwarzenegger...but before he begins taking steroids.

   I cant stand people who look down on people that look down on people

   why should I ever stop smiling when I live in a joke world!

   Dont Touch..Its call The No No Spot For A Reason.

   being burried alive...please help

   Some people have food in their teeth because no one likes them enough to mention it. This serves as an early warning system for @ssholes.

   Talking Sh1t is harder now with Google out there.

   ...warns you this Halloween to beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, and band saws.

   jumping as high as possible so he can take a sneak peek of Friday's preview.

   "If my life had a face.............I would PUNCH it!!"-Greg Thomas

   definitely prefers to be the gobblee than the gobbler... I'm stuffed.

   These E*Trade babies probably annoy everyone in the bar when they play Golden Tee.

   the story in Balamory

   ......That'swhat she said...lol