Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5570 of 5576

   messageicon It's pretty hard not to scratch when you're playing pocket pool.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 06:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know your getting old when respond to you with, "Really! At your age?!?"
←Rate | 09-06-2010 02:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear chicken, please cook yourself and jump into my mouth. thank you
←Rate | 09-06-2010 01:14 by Zack Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some images contained herein may not be appropriate for all ages. Viewer discretion advised.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 01:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?To buy an iPatch!
←Rate | 09-06-2010 00:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering, where in the world is Carmen San Diego? I'm worried!
←Rate | 09-05-2010 23:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was doing 75 MPH in his rented diesel Chevette when I was pulled over by a Chip. Was I speeding? I asked. Not really, I just wanted to know how you got it going that fast. FML
←Rate | 09-05-2010 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i love it when some little 8 year-old is cursing and yelling at me on call of duty and then his mom is in the backgorund telling him to go to bed.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 23:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon laughing at the people on ugliesttattoos.com
←Rate | 09-05-2010 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is the Devil's number 666? Shouldn't it be like 911?
←Rate | 09-05-2010 23:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering? Horse? Catapult? Helicopter drop? Santa?
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wash your jeans after wearing them only once, you're doing it wrong.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Parents today are spending thousands of dollars "child-proofing" their home. When I was little we stuck our fork in the wall socket ONE time. Our parents let us do it, and they saved thousands of dollars.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you haven't gotten enough sleep when you wake up and your mouth still smells like toothpaste.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Age will never matter when it comes to laziness. I still wish I could shoot magic out of my finger to get things done.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you decide to pass me on the right to beat me to the stop sign, don't be surprised when I make you work for it.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon neighborhood walker: Who are you talking to on the cell at 6:30 in the morning?
←Rate | 09-05-2010 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd just like to thank my clothes for taking themselves off in the middle of the night when it's too hot, without even waking me up. Job well done.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 19:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you haven't sharpened your lawnmower blades in over five years, you're not cutting the grass, you're combing it.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend just had a baby, he keep's going on about how he would kill anyone who tried to hurt his child, or he would get run over to save his son, he would even take a bullet for his boy. I said, "Why are so many people trying to assassinate your baby?"
←Rate | 09-05-2010 19:39 Comments (1)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left