Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Never take acid with a squirell named... Hey squirell dude, what's your name? Phil? Never take acid with a squirell named Phil. 
Religion and guns don't kill people, humans do. Get rid of both and you have solved 75% of the problem.
God's son died single, but he'll help you find your match on Christian Mingle.
I Hate when people say '' Your Cool For Smoking '' , Wtf I'm Cool With Out Smoking
What's the speed limit of sex? 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around.
ok Ladies, time to start tenderizing the meat!
Stabbin' it with my Steely knives, But I just. Can't. Kill. The. Beast.
The Duck Dynasty guys better hope nobody tells PETA or the Gun Control lobby that they're gun living duck killers.
George Bush is the only guy I know who has @#$%ed more than 300 million people at one time.
Am I the only one that sees the irony in Obamacare rolling out and the government shut down happening on the same day??
An old lady at my dad's grocery store was mad because the turkeys were small. She asked, "Do you think they'll get bigger right before Thanksgiving? " I said, "No mam." She goes, "Why?" I go, because they're dead."
I just had dead pig and unborn chickens for breakfast!
Dear Chocolate Covered Blueberries, Seriously where have you been all my life? I can see why your big sister Chocolate Covered Cherries has kept you secret all these years. Wow.
What's worse than Greese on Oliva Newton John? Come on Eileen.
Superman dies and Ben Affleck sucks as Batman
Bowe Bergdahl’s father looks like that Duck Dynasty guy.
*looks at packaging for Pillsbury Choc Chip Cookies... "May contain raw eggs"... *Rocky theme plays as I squeeze entire tube down my throat
I hope Micheal Sam wins an ESPY for breakout female athlete of the year
I better get some sleep. These spiders aren’t going to eat themselves.
This weekends forecast... Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out 