Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Fellas: You are delusional if you think you can eat pu$$y better than a lesbian.

   The Rockin' Praise band at your hypocritical Creep Me Out Church doesn't exactly make your ancient 13th century worldview progressive.

   Elementary math problems are weird."'I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9 What do I have now?'" Oh, I don't know, DIABETES MAYBE."

   Leslie Neilsen died?! Surely you can't be serious?!

   its so hot out, I'm sweating like a prostitute in a church...

   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

   will gladly brighten your atmosphere.

   .. I maybe dumb enough to listen to him, but I am smart enough not to believe him.

   # They should call the daily press briefing, the daily depress briefing.

   If your God is totally ok with nuking an entire country but not with 2 guys marrying, you might consider exchanging that God.

   Why do I have to pray to G0D for help? Doesn't he know? I mean, he's G0D for G0D's sake.

   Never take acid with a squirell named... Hey squirell dude, what's your name? Phil? Never take acid with a squirell named Phil.

   Religion and guns don't kill people, humans do. Get rid of both and you have solved 75% of the problem.

   I Hate when people say '' Your Cool For Smoking '' , Wtf I'm Cool With Out Smoking

   What's the speed limit of sex? 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around.

   ok Ladies, time to start tenderizing the meat!

   Stabbin' it with my Steely knives, But I just. Can't. Kill. The. Beast.

   The Duck Dynasty guys better hope nobody tells PETA or the Gun Control lobby that they're gun living duck killers.

   George Bush is the only guy I know who has @#$%ed more than 300 million people at one time.

   Am I the only one that sees the irony in Obamacare rolling out and the government shut down happening on the same day??