Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Today, I feel sorry for the poor saps who decided to boycott the NFL, four years ago, just because of stupidity.

   Wondering if there are any cold days in Hell, and if so does Satan slam his fist and say, "okay what band just got back together?"

   Big deal, Times Square, I drop the ball at least twice a week.

   Canada: Compared to the USA, it's the North American equivalent to the kids' table at a holiday dinner.

   Anyone else notice that the new Pope looks like Homer Simpson after a hunger strike?

   I went to Chick-fil-a for lunch...You have to try the Chick on Chick sandwich...

   If I ever caught a robber in my house looking for money, I'd start laughing and start searching with him.

   how do germans tie their shoes in little nazis

   Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty!

   I'm just like Jesus except I can't turn water into wine, just life into shi t.

   My husbands wife is freakin' awesome!!

   If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.

   Dear douchebags; Take care of your Ladies, or some A**hole like me will sure do it for ya!

   A wife turned down an offer to bury her husband in the Holy Land for $75. When asked why she paid $17,000 to buried him in the US, she said, "she heard a story of a Man who was ressurected back in the day!"

   in bed with your hot wife... while your at work kissin your boss's ass....

   the way it used to be.

   You are feeling sleepy... you will obey me... you will take off your pants...

   Tap, tap, tap,..is this thing on?. If it is all the same to you guys, can we skip right past Baseball season and move right on up to Football? Just a thought...

   My 2010 New Year's resolution is to NOT interrupt Taylor Swift if she is making an acceptance speech at a music awards ceremony.

   ❒Single ❒Taking ✔Screw that it will only bring me down when I run from Zombies