Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   has found my age is very inappropriate for my behavior.

   When George Washington got carded he just pulled out a quarter.

   Well, just got home from work.....it seems davey jones died....at first I didn't believe it....but then I saw his face, and now I'm a believer. O_o

   My wife says I'm "Immature"... just because I snuck up behind her when she was reading her "Romance" novel and made kissing sounds.....

   My password is ***********.

   Kiss her neck… She'll rip your clothes off.

   You like to sleep? Damn me too. Let's do it some time together ;)

   I didn't sleep that well last night, there must have been a pea under my mattress.

   How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

   GREAT! Only 7 more days left of viewing pictures of kids dressed as beggars!

   having a 10 second honda is kinda like coming out of the closet, some people may be surpised at first but in the end your still gay

   free: Pmsing wife comes with big bag of Skittles,

   A, E, I, O, you and sometimes Your m*m...

   hates it when people use the drive thru ATM for anything more than making a withdrawl.. do your damn deposits inside

   hoping that "number six" is the charm. Have another Slim Jim, Mr. Cheney!

   Has a box of tissues,some lotion and a picture of you , I better get a bigger box of tissues .

   I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met Andy's mom's toys.. Especially since they probably have the same names ..

   •_•) <) )╯Tee / \ (•_•) \( (> gee / \ (•_•) <) )╯eye / \ (•_•) <( (> eff / \

   Last year my friend told me to have the best day ever, so I did. My life has gotten worse every day since then.

   Truth isn't truth? Okay then, I guess food isn't good as well. Stupid senile old man.