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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Lesson I Learned From My Kid #122: NEVER underestimate the rejuvenating powers of a spaghetti sauce facial/body scrub.
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10-04-2012 21:04
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Ladies: If you're wearing 6-inch heels and can bend down and touch the floor without falling over, you're good to go for another drink.
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10-13-2012 13:37 by
Czovczov
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If she hears a noise in the middle of the night, you get up and check that shi t like a man if you want your balls sucked instead of punched.
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10-13-2012 14:21
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I'm a bit concerned guys. This is a great place to escape, but you can't hide from Liam Neeson once he realizes you've been making fun of him.
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10-16-2012 13:04
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If you thought AJ McCarron's girlfriends breasts were unreal, you should see Manti Te'o's girlfriend's.
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01-17-2013 20:10
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the facebook app...its like combining ESPN with Weather Channel & some occasional drama
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01-29-2013 01:03 by
Eddy
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Who"s gonna win the Super Bowl? I predict Harbaugh wins hands down.
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02-03-2013 17:54
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"I know, baby, I'm lonley too" I whiper to the no show sock as we search for its mate.
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04-15-2013 13:39 by
Doc Noland
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Being born was such a shock that I didn't speak for nearly two years afterwards...and still not normally.
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04-16-2013 20:56
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just remember guys, your problems are your problems but her problems are OUR problems...
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04-20-2013 11:45
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Fatass Quanicka ruined Casual Friday for every this past Friday......Sh e wore shorts
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04-20-2013 18:46
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I'm white, but not "says yes indeedy" white. No siree Bob!
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05-10-2013 12:37
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Whenever someone says "Oh you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "I wore a rubber?"
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05-14-2013 20:30 by
wolfe
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I'm sorry to say, I won't be on Facebook anymore,.....see there's this ticket that I played today, and long story short....I've got to go change my identity now! Bye!
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05-19-2013 10:51 by
Jitney
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I love riding my red Mustang into work,,, but I am tired of people complaining about horse crap in the parking lot.
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05-25-2013 19:04 by
snotty
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Office crime is real people! I was just held up at PowerPoint.
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06-03-2013 14:55 by
Kisstopher707
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God made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
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06-17-2013 14:22 by
idol killed
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Lord, please forgive these gas prices, for they know not what they do to my pockets...
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02-21-2013 12:46 by
sully
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Even the Fonz couldn't look cool chasing a ping pong ball.
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02-21-2013 14:24
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I don't really hit women, I'm English, I get my butler to do it.
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02-22-2013 07:15
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