Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Lesson I Learned From My Kid #122: NEVER underestimate the rejuvenating powers of a spaghetti sauce facial/body scrub.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: If you're wearing 6-inch heels and can bend down and touch the floor without falling over, you're good to go for another drink.
←Rate | 10-13-2012 13:37 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she hears a noise in the middle of the night, you get up and check that shi t like a man if you want your balls sucked instead of punched.
←Rate | 10-13-2012 14:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a bit concerned guys. This is a great place to escape, but you can't hide from Liam Neeson once he realizes you've been making fun of him.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you thought AJ McCarron's girlfriends breasts were unreal, you should see Manti Te'o's girlfriend's.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 20:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the facebook app...its like combining ESPN with Weather Channel & some occasional drama
←Rate | 01-29-2013 01:03 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who"s gonna win the Super Bowl? I predict Harbaugh wins hands down.
←Rate | 02-03-2013 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I know, baby, I'm lonley too" I whiper to the no show sock as we search for its mate.
←Rate | 04-15-2013 13:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being born was such a shock that I didn't speak for nearly two years afterwards...and still not normally.
←Rate | 04-16-2013 20:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just remember guys, your problems are your problems but her problems are OUR problems...
←Rate | 04-20-2013 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fatass Quanicka ruined Casual Friday for every this past Friday......Sh e wore shorts
←Rate | 04-20-2013 18:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm white, but not "says yes indeedy" white. No siree Bob!
←Rate | 05-10-2013 12:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone says "Oh you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "I wore a rubber?"
←Rate | 05-14-2013 20:30 by wolfe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry to say, I won't be on Facebook anymore,.....see there's this ticket that I played today, and long story short....I've got to go change my identity now! Bye!
←Rate | 05-19-2013 10:51 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love riding my red Mustang into work,,, but I am tired of people complaining about horse crap in the parking lot.
←Rate | 05-25-2013 19:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Office crime is real people! I was just held up at PowerPoint.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 14:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon God made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
←Rate | 06-17-2013 14:22 by idol killed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lord, please forgive these gas prices, for they know not what they do to my pockets...
←Rate | 02-21-2013 12:46 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even the Fonz couldn't look cool chasing a ping pong ball.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 14:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't really hit women, I'm English, I get my butler to do it.
←Rate | 02-22-2013 07:15 Comments (0)  



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