Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Think I'll move to Russia, it will save me shipping and handing on mail order Russian bride. . .
←Rate | 02-28-2014 02:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time I lost my phone for 6 days, so I feel your struggle Malaysia.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 19:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can I get on one of these disappearing planes?
←Rate | 03-19-2014 14:26 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m starting to think some people only have girlfriends so they can walk slowly in public in front of some guy in a hurry
←Rate | 04-04-2014 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon that horrible moment when you actually fall in love
←Rate | 04-09-2014 15:51 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember that you don't own anything that won't burn.
←Rate | 04-10-2014 07:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a small section in Paul Ryan's budget plan that makes it legal for the Koch brothers to hunt poors. Google it.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 15:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon if a tow truck hauls an RV, does that make the tow guy a "home-wrecker"?
←Rate | 04-23-2014 01:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny thing I just heard my computer call out to it's father......"Data"
←Rate | 04-24-2014 19:46 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2014 parent: "when I was ur age we had morals back then...no sex before marriage,no drugs, no alcohol".Thanks for being honest...so I'll be honest as a 2044 parent "When I was ur age I had loads of unprotected sex,drugs and alcohol and here I am now"!
←Rate | 05-08-2014 01:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sleeping is so old school, there's no technology involved
←Rate | 05-15-2014 09:33 by JCW Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you've made a person feel like they don't matter, they'll leave you alone, but they'll never forget.
←Rate | 05-18-2014 07:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently it's frowned upon to moan when getting a pedicure. Related: Sorry, Ming, it was awkward for me too. But damn, you rub me good!
←Rate | 06-01-2014 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't believe in evolution just look at how much stronger passwords have become over the past few hundred years.
←Rate | 06-05-2014 00:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only things that should be fat are your pockets.
←Rate | 09-12-2013 14:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale of J ew to Floyd Mayweather, How much do you love money?
←Rate | 09-15-2013 01:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fish are always making that “I want to suck a d*ck” face.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you push a carriage for more than 20 minutes a day outside of a store there should be a law that you have to have a license to operate it. . .
←Rate | 10-11-2013 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no problem in the entire world that could not be resolved if everyone would just do it my way.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 18:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tempus fugit: The Karate Kid (Ralph Macchio) is the exact same age today as Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) was the day Karate Kid opened in theaters.
←Rate | 10-29-2013 12:15 by lkmalee627 Comments (2)  



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