Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   the first rule of Sam's Club is that you will not admit that you were stupid enough to go there on Black Friday

   only in Texas, this time of the year, does the weather change so drastically that you are put in a situation where the downstairs a/c makes the upstairs heater come on...

   If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off

   Why does watching Twilight New Moon make me want to watch Teen Wolf!

   taliking to his wall. sssshhhh!!!!!!!

   Sorry, I'm into the "inflatable" type.

   dyslexic which means never having to say that you're yrros

   ------------is clearly convinced life is practically all about reading ------------------

   You can negotiate with a terrorist, not with a redhead.

   You're never more indignant in life than when you're shopping in a store that you feel is beneath you and one of the other customers mistakes you for an employee of that store.

   Family and friends know the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words.

   theres so much more room for activites!!!

   Shocked Justin Bieber did not win a BET award.....don't worry Justin neither did Hanson, Nelson, or Hasseloff.

   ive taken my adarall and my xanax... I hear you but really dont care what your saying

   I'm having a healthy and nutritious Meal, and I'm washing it down with a healthy and nutritious BEER. This health food stuff is not as bad as I thought after all.

   If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

   Thanking God the whole Justin Bieber writing an autobiography thing was just a rumor.. That would have been the shortest autobiography ever... All 16 pages of it... 18 if you count the index and contents..

   "Real men actually spend time away from their computers." Yeah... that's because they're avoiding you.

   The saxophone still hasn't been brought to justice for everything it did in the 1980s.

   Every top 10 list I've ever seen has at least two entries that are clearly better than number 1... especially when it comes to the preseason College Football poles.