Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon What do an illegal alien and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
←Rate | 05-22-2017 08:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How's that wall coming along? I hope it hasn't obstructed traffic for you guys.
←Rate | 05-22-2017 13:23 Comments (7)  


   messageicon I think I just seenPodesta going down I95 in a white ford bronco
←Rate | 05-22-2017 14:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a report naming the 20 worst cat food. Mine gets #1. He deserves it that cat bastid.
←Rate | 05-22-2017 14:19 by Actual Ted Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opening a restaurant calling it: New Pho, Who Dish?
←Rate | 05-23-2017 05:53 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is that when you apply for a loan at the bank the first thing you have to do is prove you don't need it?
←Rate | 05-23-2017 07:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And all this time I thought Ariana Grande was a new drink at Starbucks.
←Rate | 05-23-2017 10:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up this morning thinking "It's great to be alive!" Pulled in to work thinking "Just shoot me now....."
←Rate | 05-23-2017 10:39 by Popparay Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say, Tiffany Cormier has some pretty interesting things to say.
←Rate | 05-23-2017 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A federal budget that doesnt hurt the middle class? ? ? Well sign me up 3 times, even though I'm not registered democrate.
←Rate | 05-23-2017 18:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish I could have went to the Ariana Grande concert, I heard it was a blast.
←Rate | 05-23-2017 20:57 by MOJI Comments (3)  


   messageicon I don't swim because it's never 30 minutes after the last time I ate.
←Rate | 05-23-2017 21:40 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I licked gayray's valuables in a Chicago Home Depot. They were having a half off wood sale so he fit right in
←Rate | 05-24-2017 03:41 by WeedmanHippie Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you leave me a voicemail that asks me to call you back when I get this message,you have nobody to blame but yourself.save your breath send a text.lol😀
←Rate | 05-24-2017 08:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick." Say that three times fast.
←Rate | 05-24-2017 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius say: "Wife who keep husband in dog house soon find him in cat house."
←Rate | 05-24-2017 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed. - Today's media and Nazi Propoganda
←Rate | 05-24-2017 12:24 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Looking into the mirror...I realize, I'm in no shape to fend off an alien invasion
←Rate | 05-24-2017 15:05 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interviewer: You ever do time? Me: I've mixed basil with weed, even freebased oregano, but I've never done thyme. Interviewer: I meant in jail, but I think we're done here.
←Rate | 05-24-2017 15:07 by Pj Comments (2)  


   messageicon Who called them "homo erectus" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them "homo erectus".
←Rate | 05-24-2017 15:42 by @breakfastbeerz Comments (0)  



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