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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Watching the hilights of the rockets yesterday and it looked like Harden had his talent stole by the Monstars #spacejam3
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05-12-2017 14:12 by
Migasjoe
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I identified a body yesterday. "That's a body!" I said.
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05-12-2017 22:34
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Anyone look in the mirror and it looks like you have hail damage on the back of your thighs . Asking for a friend.
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05-12-2017 23:08 by
Cyndi
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To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet - you can hide, but you can't run.
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05-13-2017 08:50 by
Barkley
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I like to hold hands at the movies... but it always seems to freak out strangers.
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05-13-2017 08:52 by
Barkley
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Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
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05-13-2017 08:54 by
Barkley
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I can't make you love me, but I can hold your head underwater until you stop breathing.
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05-13-2017 11:57 by
psycho
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I have to go shopping. I got run over by a steam roller yesterday and need to get me a pair of size 200 x 14 pants.
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05-13-2017 12:12 by
Mick
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NOAH didn't put spiders and insects on the ARK . They snuck in and hid like they do in your house..
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05-13-2017 14:04
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My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn't."
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05-13-2017 20:28
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What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
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05-13-2017 20:29
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What do the movies Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.
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05-13-2017 20:30
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I'm beginning to think the Romans were lucky,,,,, At least Nero could play an instrument. .
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05-14-2017 03:11 by
snotty
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In order to reconnect with my conspiracy theory family, ,, I've joined 20 "flat-earth" groups on Facebook
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05-14-2017 03:21 by
snotty
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In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home, ,, The more homeless I look.
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05-14-2017 03:25 by
snotty
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Q. Whats the mating call of a Blackbird? A. Stick it in me Leroy!
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05-14-2017 03:27
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From a purely ironical perspective,,, He's going to actually walk onto 5th Ave and shoot somebody before this actually ends,,, right?
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05-14-2017 03:35 by
snotty
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I don't want to seem like a snob,,, but I was the only one to not use a coupon for our Mothers day lunch..
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05-14-2017 03:43 by
snotty
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Steve Miller.. "Some call me the gangster of love"..... Steve Miller`so band... "Ummm, yeah,,, Nobody calls him that"....
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05-14-2017 03:49 by
snotty
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My wife accused me of being immature, I told her to get out of my fort
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05-14-2017 07:35 by
Dp
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