Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

     It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

   soo The Humane Society says donations can help homeless animals, but I find it's easier to just give a couple bucks to every stray cat I see...

   Just once I'd like to go into a bar bathroom and under the "For a good time call-" written under it: B- ..4 out of 5 stars, would call again

   He hate hangovers..I mean the drinking part is awesome though.

   25% off this thursday

   To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

   putting the lotion on its skin, before it gets the hose again.

   reminds you that freedom isn't free. I had to pay $20 for some guy to get me out of my driveway.

   not fighting his way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

   A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids

   you are part of my 99 problems.

   just enrolled in Lost University

   even though it's so wrong, no one else can do you so right

   searching on google for her lost sweater

   stuck in an elevator with steve tyler from airosmith and is quite scared.

   how do you know that a man has a high sperm count?......you have to chew before you can swallow.

   bringing sexy back... to the store, for a refund!

   doesn't want a piece of cake, but the whole bloody bakery!

   decided that hes going to walk around with a cloth on his face and see if people assume that he just got plastic surgey or hes lady gaga

   i would like hippes to realize that it is NOT "all good."