Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Don't wast your time being the one who is always there desperately waiting and being just an option.

   Who called them silk boxers and not ball gowns

   If whales are so smart, why do they swim so close to Japan?

   Medicare for all is Socialism. Also don't you dare touch my Medicare!

   Corvidiot: Pronounced - Cor-v-idiot. Meaning - Someone who is a coronavirus incredibly stupid. Exceple 1 - Dude! Are you really go out to get coffee with friends? Exemple 1 - Look at the dude with 300 rolls of of toilet paper in his shopping!

   God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.

   The last time the Cubs won a World Series, the Republican Party favored voting rights for African-Americans.

   I took my ex out last night, it only took one punch! :)

   Sean Spicer told me that my poor eating habits and lack of exercise only play a limited role in my weight gain.

   I can't help wondering if the Oval Office has a special closet for Mike Pence.

   Lets bring back Chuk Noris!!! And get rid of Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Half man half woman former Kardashian husband now turned a woman who still likes women, Kardashians, Snookie, etc....

   Hey Lorenzo, go home you are borin.

   Can you change the ugly foot there on the right > with the fungus on it from adchoice> > > >

   Life is weird. First you wanna grow up, then you wanna be a kid again.

   I will just take one bong hit with breakfast, chill out for a while, then get some things done. Aaaand I'm not getting off of the couch today.

   Funny how the first 5 years I did it, my biggest fear was someone walking in on me doing it.. and now in the last 5 years I wouldn't bother doing it unless someone was watching me.

   You gotta walk the walk to type the type.

   I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

   i'll be live tweeting my colonoscopy today against the advice of my doctor and these nurses. And ok, here we go,,, OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH

   "Why can't more people be just like you?" I wisper into the bun of giant meatball sub.