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a man with flaws, a failure at success, no superhero, neither rich nor poor. I am, however a good father and a happy person. that'll do pig. that'll do. 
hates it when he goes to take a drink and the straw goes up his nose. Not cool when tryin' to impress the ladies!
waving his pants and shouting 'viva la revolution'
When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.
Hey Boston-LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER♥
would it be cruel to kidnap a man and keep him for purely sexual reasons?
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Can't stand the automatic bathroom appliances... WTF... I am not done.. Thanks for the generous water ration... Btw, your paper towels are like sand paper
bringing the 'fun' back into funeral.
recently accused of being insensitive!! And I thought, how did this fat bit*h get her wheel chair up the stairs to my house?
Yuck. There's nothing more disgusting than cigarette butts in the urinal.. What's worse is that their so d@$% hard to light!
Glad Facebook knocks me off for "Routine Maintenance"... said by no-one, ever!!
I had skylights installed at my place last night and I don't get why the people who live upstairs aren't okay with this.
Before you make your birthday wishes, make sure your genie has a good command of the English language. Unrelated- would anyone wanna purchase a massive rooster, a bunch if wet Brazilian cats and a large section of donkey.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.
are the smurfs just a midget tribe of the Avatars?
Creates an imaginary girlfriend. She just wants to be friends.
The closest I come to beastiality is grabbing a ponytail.
Off to IKEA to shop, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse...
You say, "Boys. Always respect a girl that's been single for over a year. Because it means she not co-dependent ."This is not true again; she is actually dependent on her vibrator!! 