Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Things happen for no reason. This is why people invent gods.

   I say tomato, you say tomato. hahahahaha I know your laughing right now cuz you totally just read this with two pronunciations... lol

   wants to be a millionaire.

   How have Christians not used the "dinosaurs died off because they were all gay" argument yet?

   frickin awesome! 'Nough Said.

   melting in your mouth not in your hands

   (630): The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

   I don't always drink beer but when I do, I play good beer pong

   thinks people who end sentences with prepositions should knock it off.

   says "Water Under the Bridge should stay under the Bridge!"

   Coupon Susie and I were going to get married, but it turned out she just wasn't cut out for me.

   smile it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth

   I measure the wealth of my day by asking myself did I add more friends today over friends who have deleted me on Facebook

   I thought love was a giveing thing.... The more I gave the less I got

   saw this on an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, oh...fly Delta?)

   OCD's Anonymous meeting at my place. Anyone who feels compelled to clean up, go for it.

   In the early 90's hip-hop game, I suppose MC Hammer was wearing the trousers!

   a man with flaws, a failure at success, no superhero, neither rich nor poor. I am, however a good father and a happy person. that'll do pig. that'll do.

   hates it when he goes to take a drink and the straw goes up his nose. Not cool when tryin' to impress the ladies!

   waving his pants and shouting 'viva la revolution'