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wondering what the Easter bunny is doing right now? 
wake me up when is xmas over coz I cant afford buy any presents....
MISSING: Sultry dark haired nymphomaniac. Likes 2 have hair pulled & be tied up. Please return immediately as she may be dangerous! I am a trained professional
I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.
My wife just asked me "would you say I'm a selfish person?" My answer - "well, not to your face..."
wonders if Conan O'Brien feels like the red headed step child of NBC? .....oh wait, he does have red hair!
wondering; why do people on facebook, when they find a -public- photo album to someone they dont know, feel like they've won a million ???
...wanted to buy some goose feathers but couldn't afford the down payment..
thinks, sex is like any other performance, i.e a stage performance. So as that you dont blow it early on in the show, you must have a rehersal before HAND so as not to leave your audience (partner) disapointed.
the Super Bowl is on February 7, The pre game started on February 3.
needs 5 steel beams for his horse glue factory
not in the dictionary because awesome is already a word
I've lost most of my hearing, but it's okay because it turns out the only thing people say to me is "nothing, nevermind."
I guess Einstein was on Acid when he derived E=mc²
Powerless to know the truth... Blinded by what I wanted to see... Ashamed that I let you in... Painful with how I'm left feeling... Devastated as I knew better...
I don't know what makes my friend more a loser the fact that I found a Rihanna's cd in his car or the fact that he always likes his own facebook status.
the life of the party, even if I dont attend
When dogs leap onto your bed,it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed,it's because they adore your bed.
has just killed thier relationship asking "is it in?"
the 93% of people who will NOT re-post this as my status (all chain-status updates)
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