Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Now is probably a good time to teach your Nana how to set up a GoFundMe account for her health insurance.

   Sean Spicer is now claiming that Richard Nixon had a Very Limited Role in Watergate.

   You know how you sometimes hear something pop loudly in the microwave? That's the camera bulb flashing.

   Sean Spicer is what would happen if Hank Hill let Cotton influence Bobby.

   Sean Spicer must wear flame-retardant pants to every press conference to keep his pants from igniting.

   Careful Ivanka. The boss in your new office is very handsy with attractive young women.

   Melania and Kellyanne look like someone took two attractive models, and then smooshed their faces around until they didn't quite look right.

   Spicer reminds me of a toddler who got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, and crumbs on his face, trying to convince everyone that he wasn't the person who took the cookies.

   Meanwhile, in hell, the Devil is all like ... "What have I done?"

   Marla Maples is in favor or border security. She lost her job to an immigrant too.

   Respect must be earned, even when you are a fat, rich white guy with an important job.

   Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but most of you here, just gargled.

   Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.

   A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine dies. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

   Every time I'm about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up. .

   Not sure what's longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.

   Truth is truth even if nobody believes it. Lies are still lies even if everybody believes it.

   That TP logo from the campaign seems appropriate now, given all the B S leaking out of this administration.

   I was enjoying watching a monkey at the zoo flinging his poop at all the spectators until I realized I was at home and watching the daily White House presser.

   Sean Spicer told me that my poor eating habits and lack of exercise only play a limited role in my weight gain.