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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If I were you, I'd get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.
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10-01-2010 13:56 by
Steve\'s girl
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Now lookie here, you big, orange, Moby D*ck!
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13
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10-01-2010 13:54 by
Steve\'s girl
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It's alright, he's only choking!
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10-01-2010 13:45 by
Heather25
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Unless you want to f*ck me, why do you care what I look like?
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10-01-2010 13:44 by
Heather25
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How do I set the laser printer to stun?
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10-01-2010 13:42 by
Heather25
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I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
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10-01-2010 13:40 by
Heather25
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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10-01-2010 13:36
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I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. ;)
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10-01-2010 13:31 by
Heather25
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I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
33
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10-01-2010 13:30 by
Heather25
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The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
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10-01-2010 13:29 by
Heather25
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Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
5
5
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10-01-2010 13:25 by
CJ
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A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
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10-01-2010 13:24 by
CJ
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apprantly I told my dog to go to his room until he was ready to talk, thats how drunk I was.
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10-01-2010 13:23
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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10-01-2010 13:22 by
CJ
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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10-01-2010 13:14 by
CJ
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The future isn't what it used to be...
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10-01-2010 13:10 by
CJ
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Don't you hate that when it rains people who has an umbrella keep walking underneath the awnings, and let people who doesn't have one get wet? Ugh! I just want to grab the umbrella and put a hole in it!!
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10-01-2010 13:09 by
Ru
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I try to misbehave appropriately.
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10-01-2010 12:02 by
Aaron
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0
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if your'e on top of the world, it tuns around every 24 hours.
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10-01-2010 12:02
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You know your relationship is in trouble when she loads her vibrator with batteries from the TV remote, alarm clock and your pacemaker.
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10-01-2010 12:02 by
Aaron
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0
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