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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I just invented a new candy called Mike and Ike and Tina. When you eat 'em, your front teeth fall out
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09-28-2010 16:57 by
me
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I never judge a book by it's cover, but I do read the Cliff Notes on some of these Hoes
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09-28-2010 16:50 by
Nazir
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I don't think you understand how far up the f**k you need to shut it.
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09-28-2010 16:48 by
Aaron
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What I just did in that bathroom was so tragic that when I walked out, a Native American turned his head as a tear rolled down his cheek.
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09-28-2010 16:28 by
Aaron
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dear biology, can I get an extended warranty on my penis?
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09-28-2010 15:34 by
levon
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**chokehold, spin, slam to the floor** Hello Wednesday!!
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09-28-2010 14:53 by
Scarlet
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At night, every car that drives behind me automatically becomes a cop car.
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09-28-2010 14:43
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- - Stephen Hawking may be a genius, but he is not setting much of an example to kids by just sitting at his computer all day.
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09-28-2010 14:31 by
trickz100
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- If round pegs fit in round holes, and square pegs fit in square holes, why isnt my c*ck shaped like an axe?
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09-28-2010 14:20 by
trickz100
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Thought it was true love, but you know women lie.
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09-28-2010 14:19
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The "Like" button is the new red AIDS ribbon. It allows people to feel like they're being supportive without having to actually do anything.
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09-28-2010 13:42
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I didn't realize Toyota was so LGBT friendly, but apparently the Tundra comes with an aluminum tranny.
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09-28-2010 13:41
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In the wake of the tornado, Fox News is whipping up a frenzy over the plans of some munchkins to build a community center in Williamsburg.
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09-28-2010 13:40
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.If you ever start to feel good about humanity, just spend five minutes in a Trader Joe's parking lot.
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09-28-2010 13:37
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having a threesome with aunt jemima & mrs. butterworth
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09-28-2010 13:13 by
@randomdidit
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I got an enema in honor of National Punctuation Day. I now have a perfect colon.
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09-28-2010 13:03 by
me
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California is suspending executions due to lethal drug shortage. Someone should talk to Texas. I bet they're storing their surplus in caves.
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09-28-2010 13:03 by
me
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Ahh Sams Club.. Ever notice the people who frequent that place? It's kind of like the bar scene from StarWars
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09-28-2010 12:34
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If your thinking of watching...Scott Pilgrim vs. the World...Just shoot yourself in the face now and save yourself some misery.
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09-28-2010 11:52 by
John
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The first testicular guard “Cup” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. We have our priorities…
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09-28-2010 11:16 by
Michael
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