Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dear mom who just learned what "lol" means, ROTFLMFAO. Sincerely, good luck with that one :]
←Rate | 03-09-2011 01:17 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist,, I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 00:49 by tylerbur! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even after a long day at work, I often take work related things home with me." ~ Me referring to the hot women from the accounting department.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 15:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ask me, Spongebob Squarepants is not a Sponge, he a Tampon.
←Rate | 10-08-2011 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats to Lamar Odom. The first guy to have cocaine and bookers actually save his marriage.
←Rate | 10-22-2015 19:50 by Jeff W Comments (1)  


   messageicon look at this, it's a stick man rubbing his butt on the ground! ________&_________
←Rate | 10-22-2015 23:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love my women like I love my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The dream if free. The hustle is sold separately.
←Rate | 12-01-2015 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm offened that people get offened
←Rate | 12-23-2015 05:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon That moment when you are so drunk that you swerve to miss a tree, but then you realize its just an air freshener hanging in your car
←Rate | 08-21-2014 01:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "What's in the box... WHAT'S IN THE BOX??!!!" Brad Pitt opening his wedding gifts.
←Rate | 08-29-2014 13:45 by Grabman Comments (0)  


   messageicon One word: Ballgazi
←Rate | 01-22-2015 15:21 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these FB quizzes are just today's horoscopes. BS designed to make women feel important in a man run world.
←Rate | 02-17-2015 22:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At 7-11 and the cashier rings my bottle of water up and asked me if I would like a bag to go with that? I asked her if she had anything good? We laughed and laughed...
←Rate | 02-22-2015 18:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jacking off is all fun and games until someone walks in
←Rate | 03-09-2015 20:06 by Ralph Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out the Dukes of Hazzard wasn't a reality show, my day is now shot.
←Rate | 04-19-2015 07:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time your woman screams your nam ein bed is when you fart in your sleep.
←Rate | 05-01-2015 05:27 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did humans invent hell, when there are enough real things to be scared of, like emotional commitment, marriage and a woman on her period.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 12:53 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama has driven me to a financial status that I can't tip delivery drivers if there's is a delivery charge anymore. Sorry guys, but minimum wage should be $10/hr soon so you'll be fine.
←Rate | 05-14-2015 20:13 Comments (3)  


   messageicon There once was a man from Salem. Who liked to break wind and inhale them... Then he'd burp with delight, a despicable sight. But you wouldn't need a blood hound to trail him...
←Rate | 01-25-2014 15:35 Comments (0)  



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