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...Really USA? You REALLY thought you would win again??? 
A&E has just announced the replacement show for Duck Dynasty the new show will be Dyke Dynasty.
I'm at the age where I don't want to throw away a box because, well, it's a really nice box.
perkatory (PUR kah tawr ē) n.: The anguished, prolonged period of time waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing.
Sometimes I like to stand up really fast to remember what drugs feel like
You think we have a problem with immigrants now? Wait until all the hoes of the world find out that they too can be The First Lady no matter what they have done.
Starting to think my job only wants me for my labor
Looks like those tariffs will finish off the family dairy farm once and for all. Too much winning!
Apparently, my neighbor's nativity scene proves that he believes there was a Minion in Bethlehem
I'm the man from Nantucket.
I’m glad they have a holiday to honor Neil PATRICK Harris, he’s amazing.
Dating Profile: I enjoy long walks on the beach, the equisite writings of Edgar Alan Poe, and watching chicks shove stuff up their poop pipe.
God didn’t make all men equal, Samuel Colt did.
Yesterday John McCain said the government shutdown was worse than the one in '95. That's 1795. He was 44 at the time, cleaning a musket for his son.
Nintendo or Nintendon't,,,,, There is no nintendtry
ur honor, I call GOD as my witness... *jury gasps*... *nothing happens*...*slowly, a man with a beard rises from the stands*... Dammit No Gary,,, sit down
I'm convinced any man who introduces themselves with 'Uncle' before their name is a child molester.
9.LIKE if you think Jerry Springer should moderate the next debate
I don't trust the ground I stand on......... Anymore
Saint Patrick was born in Britain under Roman rule. He was captured by Irish pirates and forced to be a slave. 