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I don't believe the BS about GMO'S being bad for you ! I just had a leg of Salmon and it was delicious . 
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
Pump Up The Volume ιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlι
Just got a new dog..Named him " Stay " Freaks all our friends out when we say" Come Here...Stay "
Why do people think Memento is so much better than Dude Where's My Car? They are basically the same movie.
a few days ago, started using a new deodorant. The instructions read, "remove cap and push up bottom". Now he can barely walk, but when he breaks wind, the room smells awesome.
Z is the last letter in the alphabet because it overslept.
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
I tried everything last night to get the baby to sleep.Finally after 5 bottles he went down.He's going to have a bad hangover!!
WOOHOO!!!! IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! Wait a damn minute, I'm working 7 10's, every day is a god damn Monday for me.
wishes Brett would just go away. Favre, Favre away.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile! I was shocked! That's such a big word for a 5 year old
...Really USA? You REALLY thought you would win again???
A&E has just announced the replacement show for Duck Dynasty the new show will be Dyke Dynasty.
I'm at the age where I don't want to throw away a box because, well, it's a really nice box.
perkatory (PUR kah tawr ē) n.: The anguished, prolonged period of time waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing.
Sometimes I like to stand up really fast to remember what drugs feel like
You think we have a problem with immigrants now? Wait until all the hoes of the world find out that they too can be The First Lady no matter what they have done.
Looks like those tariffs will finish off the family dairy farm once and for all. Too much winning!
Starting to think my job only wants me for my labor
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