Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Are you auditioning to be a FOX News host, or do you just enjoy being an uninformed, reality-challenged halfwit?
←Rate | 07-19-2017 01:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wow I guess David didn't beat Goliath, Tim Tebow did... what a game.
←Rate | 01-09-2012 01:19 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time a Christian was that thoroughly torn apart, Caligula was Emporer.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 08:46 by TebowH8R Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's up with the Mexican jokes, they are so lame! Come up with something better...LOL
←Rate | 10-25-2011 13:23 by XXX Comments (0)  


   messageicon *coming soon* "Toy Story 3"....Buzz and Woody meet some of Andy's mom's toys, that incidentally have the same names.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 10:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta love Facebook... I haven't had this much fun writing on walls since I was 6.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 13:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
←Rate | 02-19-2010 09:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 21:52 by UKGuy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "But millions of people are going to end up losing their health insurance!" -What the critics said when Obamacare was being developed.
←Rate | 03-15-2017 09:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Disrespectful parents letting their kids run around screaming. Can't I just have a nice quiet meal at Chuck E Cheese?
←Rate | 11-07-2017 21:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if we tell some people that their brain is an app they'll start using it.
←Rate | 12-17-2017 08:10 Comments (1)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?? The Hoover's got a dirtbag on the inside...
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:13 by Gladheateher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dick Clark died?? Man I really dropped the ball on that one!!.....too soon?
←Rate | 04-22-2012 01:17 by Mike c Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't wear my tinfoil helmet, Jesus will tell me to eat all the donuts.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 09:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Becoming a Doctor and changing my last name to Acula
←Rate | 06-14-2012 05:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They're relea$ing two $eparate film$ ba$ed on the 3rd book in the'Hunger Game$' trilogy. I'm $hocked. Totally $urpri$ing.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 18:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas sure does smell a lot like weed.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI those little crosses along the interstate aren't for squirrel crucifixions. I was wrong.
←Rate | 10-18-2014 10:01 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite part about the Patriots cheating is it means they didn't have confidence in Brady's skill.
←Rate | 01-23-2015 12:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some guy just asked me for the time like it's freakin 1993. "Hold tight good fellow, allow me to fetch my timepiece from my pantaloons."
←Rate | 04-17-2015 13:28 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  



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