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Beauty is why God invented eyeballs.., and your booty is why God invented my balls... 
would so kill herself if she believed in reincarnation.
thinks it would be easy for all the asians that are changing their profile pictures for It's "Doppelgänger Week" on Facebook, because they could all just change it to Jackie Chan... God knows they all lookalike..
Someone go take out a famous black guy so we can get another day off next year
Just seen a Cheerios commercial with an interracial family so I've eaten my last bowl of Cheerios.
I love my women like I love my Ikea furniture, cheap and missing a couple screws
Miss Understood
August 4th 1969....Yeah, not a day that America needed! Or what ever country he was REALLY born in..
Sarah Palin probably thinks Obama's drilling plan doesn't go far enough in terms of wrecking the environment.
drinking beers with his peers
coming up so you better get this party started.
never been called a Space Cowboy.
Dear Lord You have taken away my favourite actoress britney Murphy favourite Singer Mj and my favourite spokesman billy mays I just wanna say my favourite singer is lil wayne
Sorry yanks. After all, it is our game. We may not own the podium... but you got owned it hockey. More gold than you... y'all must like silver!!!
America, you've got a little injustice on your chin. No, not there. A little to the right. There. Nope, you missed it again. Still there.
Hang on Tim, God is caught in traffic. Still hasn't arrived in Foxboro yet.
Nursing school doesn’t prepare you for the number of elderly patients who will casually confess to decades-old murders.
Police have reported that Tony the Tiger and the Captain Crunch have been murdered. A police spokesman said it could be the work of a cereal killer.
making a list and checking it twice
Here I sit, all broken hearted. Had to sh*t, but only farted. Till one day, I took a chance. Tried to fart, and sh*t my pants
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