Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Dr. just told me I have cancer and alzhiemers....atleast I dont have cancer

   Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last confession. Smell my finger.

   No sport in this lifetime has ever brought the world together as football... You know, the real kind, not the overcommercialized self nominated world championship superbowl.... FUTBOL!!

   justin bieber said he was having a baby. Usher was like OMG. Katy Perry set off fireworks. Bruno Mars thoght they were grenades. Eminem was like I'm not afraid. Jason Derulo said Whatcha Say? Then Nelly said it was only just a dream.

   Panty lines are so nasty, your a grown a$s woman sh!t put on a thong, g-string, boy shorts, or go panty less if you have too

   Fellas; Don't just rush to hit it. Take time to know her, then you'll know how to love her emotionally and physically.

   if Rambo had a gay son would his name be Rambutt?

   When a woman dies, God asks the angels “Was she married?' If the answer is 'yes', He says 'Take her to heaven she's been through hell already"

   ...Broken nose, bust lip, teeth knocked, black eye..but she started it so f**k her

   a friend on facebook whose status says "Suicidal - Standing on the edge of a cliff"....So I poked him...

   no wonder the yanks have their own so called "american football" coz they don't know how to play the real football..

   What's the deal with deaf people? Like, Hello?

   Obama checks Declaration of Independence.. fails to find National Treasure map on back.

   Arguing on facebook is like the special olympics, even if you win your still retarded

   #He said the reporter didn't have the brains they were born with? Ha ha ha. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

   The story of People of Lut (or Lot) has been preserved for these exact times. To serve as reminder to us what the end result of People of Sodom & Gomorrah (pure destruction) for their deviant/foridden sexual practices. Our Maker has warned from such sins

   Jesus is so important, that the calendar we use, the Gregorian Calendar, is internationally the most widely accepted calendar throughout the world. And it's based on His birth. Not Darwin's.

   If I was prone to getting emotionally invested in a make believe world of words with no validity, I'd probably be more of a church-goer too

   Happy 75th Birthday,Elvis!

   I bet Adele sweats gravy.