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I googled my name, and the first thing that came up was the wikipedia definition for smatass. Google knows me sooo well. 
in west,dates were divided in two parts A.C. & B.C...in USA its now divided into three parts A.C., B.C., and 9/11
I bought some batteries... but they weren't included... so I had to buy them again...
She is my best freind You break her Heart I Break Your Face
What's got 147 teeth and holds back The Incredible Hulk?.........My zip!
drunk dialing but luckily my mom stopped me. Thanks MADD (motha's against drunk dialing)
wondering...Do you think stores would open another resister if I brought a flame thrower in with me? I f****n hate to wait!!!!
Xmas idea. Mistletoe tied to my belt buckle. Hope this works.
I'm deleting some friends off my facebook...you may not make the cut. You have been warned. Have a great day. :D
once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?To buy an iPatch!
world oldest attractive women celebrates birthday at 43
Excited to go see saw, but then we pasted the park and went to the movie theater.
Why does David Hasselhoff call himself "The Hoff"? Because he couldn't put up with the hassle.
SEX AND CALORIES: REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent....12 Calories ,Without her consent..387 Calories
Someone just told me to "have a blessed day." What do you even say to someone like that? I just hissed at them.
Voted for Romney, Obama self(:
Caitlyn Jenner claims Bruce fondled her for over 50 years.
I took a sip off my dads beer #thuglife
STOP whatever your doing, DROP the weed in the paper, ROLL a fatty 