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Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball! 
Are we supposed to poop 15 or 20 times a day? Just checking to see if I'm normal....
Elmo is a gay black 52 year old child molester.... Childhood = RUINED.
Sometimes when I am filling up my car with gas, I like to take the antenna off the car challenge the person at the next pump over to a f@#king sword fight.
Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we were all of the same race!
wondering ... Have you ever been at work, when a genital piercing has become a semi-medical emergency; only leading to having your girlfriend come and help you remove it with a dremel tool and bolt cutters? No? Me neither ...
Kevin Durant, it is time to take your backpack and go home!
How do you pronounce "cicada"? What?!? WHAT?!? I can't hear you!
Looking forward to 2014 again..... she was 20 and I was 14. Good times!
"He is risen! He is risen, indeed!" - That's what she said.
You must be the Fat Pig to be so offened
I think it's Funny how people are hating on Romo when their team's QB is sitting on the couch watching him still play.
I was going to do the Alzheimer's ice bucket challenge. But I keep forgetting.
Kiss me," she said, "kiss me like you've never kissed me before". So I stuck my tongue in her nostril.
"Joseph was engaged to Mary, but she then revealed she's pregnant. You won't BELIEVE who she says the baby daddy is......Today on MAURY".
A woman who act like a man will get slapped like a man! Thats a standard rule..
What if Captain Planet and Obama are gay lovers?
Dear Amish person reading this: Busted!
"He's bleeding out!" The physician yells, "Mr. Kool aid man we need to do a transfusion, what's your blood type?" He replies weakly "O-yeah"
.... It's now being reported on the news that Kim Jong Il's very last words before he died were ......... "Hey, .... Aren't you Chuck Nor..............." 