Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If Dr. Ben Carson wrote down every single thought he ever had he would get an award for the shortest story ever.
←Rate | 04-14-2016 06:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies is the main reason why I have trust issues
←Rate | 01-08-2014 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mammogram sounds like a pet name for a great-grandmother
←Rate | 09-06-2015 19:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If 90's R&B comes on in the bedroom, we making a baby. I don't care.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Report out of Nashville: Dolly Parton in traffic accident. Her dual "airbags" obviously saved her life. 😊
←Rate | 10-21-2013 21:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GIRL: “Have you ever done anything sexual before?” GUY: “Well, one time I came out of a v@gina naked”
←Rate | 03-07-2012 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry, guys, Tebow is being traded for our sins.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 11:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 22:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel
←Rate | 01-07-2012 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking “I'M GOING TO KILL.. Ah darn he's under a blanket”!!
←Rate | 01-19-2012 22:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bobby Brown abruptly left Whitney Houston's funeral at about 12:20. Heard it was for a smoke break. I think he's just jealous of Kevin Costner's speech
←Rate | 02-18-2012 13:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mr. Sandusky is going to open a new college called Bring em' Young!!
←Rate | 11-09-2011 19:48 by ben Comments (0)  


   messageicon TICKLING; Is like being raped but you're forced to laugh... And I totally hate it - _ -
←Rate | 11-09-2011 23:47 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon My fat friends all want to go to dinner and my skinny friends all want to go to yoga.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 16:52 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


   messageicon A SMART WOMEN spends all her husbands Money so he cannot Remarry, A SMART MAN makes more than his Wife can SPEND!!!
←Rate | 02-25-2011 16:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon worships the King of Burgers. He let's you have it 'Yahweh'.
←Rate | 06-11-2011 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon whats the point of being nice if it goes unnoticed.
←Rate | 06-17-2011 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon did you know President George W. Bush and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner are cousins!
←Rate | 06-23-2011 09:37 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama
←Rate | 06-26-2011 21:20 by Benjamin Whymark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday was hump day and I totally forgot to hump someone. If you let me hump you today I may give you some money. Don't worry, it's not prostitution unless I finish
←Rate | 09-15-2011 15:20 Comments (0)  



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