Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Men like to play pool because they want to know how it feels to hold a big stick and some big balls

   Whoever invented invisible fences for dogs should be fired.

   in an open relationship with all the ladies on match.com.

   all about sharing...I'll eat the hotdog if you eat the bun

   For sale: Mini large-screen TV. Save space! Only 27"! Also available: giant portable TV. A whopping 27"!

   Study shows women are less likely to keep their cars clean. Yeah, because they don't need a clean car to get laid.

   "Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you."

   wears boxers so my ..... can breathe

   Umm whoever is thinking about me, could you please stop. I'm tired of running!

   havin octopus for dinner tonight :)

   If you love cats adopt one. If you hate cats support the Chinese cuisine.

   If you have more than one Bluetooth…does that mean you have blue teeth?

   Nothings worse than Single BicheZ talkin bout they Wife Material.. Thats like saying you Management material but Unemployed!

   It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a cockroach move out. "Good luck," he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases.

   You know how when a guy pees and at the end he shakes his thing to get the last drop out? Well, that's how much gas I got for $2.00.

   BELIEVE IN Yourself if you don't no one else will.!

   I once challenged Vanilla Ice to a Rap challenge and the loser had to be Vanilla Ice.

   Logged into Facebook. ‘Happiness is like a butterfly….' Logged out of Facebook.

   My cat just graduated from the University of Phoenix.

   Then God said, “Let there be Internet drama”; and there was Internet drama. And God saw that it was good.