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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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In life you've got to learn to take your time with things. That's why I went to the first grade twice.
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06-28-2011 02:49
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Shutting down the computer and realizing you need it again -_-
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07-01-2011 21:34 by
@Jordansonmafeet
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celebrating the 4th by putting pop-rocks in the vaseline!!
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07-04-2011 12:21
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Let be grateful for the people who make us happy and get rid of the deadwood that makes us sad.
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07-17-2011 13:07
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Hoarder is such a bad word.... I Prefer the term "Clutter Junkie"
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08-13-2011 23:26
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Fridays are like a metaphor for mullets.....Business during the day, and partying at night!
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09-09-2011 10:56
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Apparently 'Fat Tuesday' doesn't constitue telling fatties they're fatties.
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03-08-2011 14:33 by
Bill
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I would've hated to have been the guy that had to change the light bulbs on The Green Mile......."Really?? Again??"
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03-19-2011 00:11
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so hardcore I bought 1 newspaper and took 2! now what!
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04-06-2011 19:15 by
ndiggitydogg!
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They passed a budget last nigt and the Fereral Government STILL shutdown today! Oh wait... its Saturday isn't it?
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04-09-2011 21:34 by
bert
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New Rule: If you are currently separated and/or getting divorced you must deleted or at least block your soon to be ex.
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04-10-2011 13:07
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At what point does Wonder Woman go Google things to know about them instead of only wondering and turn into Know-It-All Woman?
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04-15-2011 13:52 by
Atropos
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The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
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04-24-2011 13:19 by
Unknown Guy
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searching Netflix for a movie to watch and found one that's titled after what all the women of my past have said to me... "I Love You, Don't Touch Me!"
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05-10-2011 23:51
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A man posted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
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05-13-2011 00:45 by
khoperoberts
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Never trust the word of a man who wears a wig.
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09-12-2011 01:24
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Dear sleep, I miss u. Come find me I'll be waiting ;-)
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09-12-2011 02:53
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This Yorkie is eating up our retirement money. I'm serious. She found the shoebox under the bed.
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09-12-2011 20:09 by
Rick H.
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guess ima get ahead start and get google+ account because facebook drawlin
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09-25-2011 17:57 by
natemorales
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A woman said : "Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless" I say : "women are like anything that can be bought by those pennies"
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10-07-2011 01:15
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